he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
