Umm I'm too high to move.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
