Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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