for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
