All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
