I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
