It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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