I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
