I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Randomize
