so that wasnt chicken after all
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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