I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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