upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You can't just leave with hair like that
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
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