all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
