wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
