I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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