also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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