I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
