i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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