Your tits are I can't wait for
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
