So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
