you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She bit a glass in half.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
