I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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