She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
