I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
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