FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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