She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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