Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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