i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
3 2 1 whiskey
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Randomize
