Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Let's get the cat blown out
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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