i wish peter jackson would direct porn
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
