Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
