She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
