I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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