she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize