dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
