They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
