she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize