We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm just crazy horny about you
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
