Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
