Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize