"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
