Don't you send me to vm
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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