Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
