I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
