"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
