But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
