Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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