i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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