Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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