my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I want to fling myself into the sun
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
