you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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