I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
A+ Viking dick
Randomize
