Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
