I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
