no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
