Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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