this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
