Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
