Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
