I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
